“But now, O LORD, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You are out potter; we are all the work of Your hand.” Isaiah 64:8
For many years, more than I can remember, I have prayed for God to mold me into the godly woman He wants me to be. I knew I was not living the life of a pleasing daughter. In the past I have mentioned my desire to be humble like Ruth Bell Graham.
Never did I think, to become more like her I had to lose a lot of me.
Now I know that if you pray for something, God will bless you with it, it just may not be the way you had in mind. What I thought would be a little refinishing and buffing has actually become a total remolding and refinishing. I have felt so torn down the past few months and I do not think I resemble anything like I use to. I am not naïve to think that He is anywhere near done with me. He only gives what He knows I can take but I just never imagined I could take so much. When it’s over, will I be unrecognizable? People have commented on how I seem different, not myself and I am not sure yet if that is a good thing or bad. I am no longer praying for Him to just mold me into a better person but for Him to be gentle in His refinement.
Beauty is pain and I am hurting.
I have learned a lot of lessons from this experience….
1. Be content with what you have.
2. Don’t borrow trouble.
3. Love even when undeserved.
4. Protect my relationship with Him.
5. Never underestimate the greatness of His plan.
I am not saying I did not know this information before but now it has been burned onto my heart, by a cattle prod. It can hurt for awhile and you will need prayers.
The more He changes me, the less me I feel hurt. I know there is a reason for it and will be glad with whatever He does to me but please pray that whatever I end up like, He will show me how to be the new me.