Posted Jun 19, 2023 |
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“And I will be your Father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” ~2 Corinthians 6:18 NLT.
Father’s Day can be a little tough for people if they did not have the ideal father figure to help them learn and grow.
I grew up with rose colored glasses on, when it came to my daddy. To me, he was super talented, funny, daring, and full of love for his family. Although I am very aware that my perception was mine and mine alone, it was the truth I have chosen to hold onto.
His name was Raymond and he died over 12 years ago, a week after his birthday. I was able to see him one last time for his birthday. Although he was such a shell of what my childhood view was, he still displayed great love without saying any words. When he saw me enter his room, his eyes lit up, reminding me that I was his baby. He reached out his fingers, as his body was to weak to lift his arm, to remind me how much he wanted to hold me. He hung on every word I had to say, blinking once for yes and twice for no, interested in everything that came out of my mouth.
I was daddy’s girl and my heart hurt knowing that would be the last time I would see him this side of heaven. He wasn’t perfect but always knew the right thing to say for encouragement, to bring me out of a funk, or to tell me to kick me into gear.
When I lost him, I missed him terribly, thinking about all of the moments…the regrets and should haves.
Who Daddy Was:
My daddy created the coolest things out of other people’s discards. I have a corner shelf in my house that he made out of old oak doors from a high school that changed to metal doors. He made our family an entertainment center out of those same extra doors. As a very artistic man, he drew characters, nature pictures, animals, molded clay, wood worked, welded, carved pictures out of coper sheet metal, self-taught guitar player, and a very amateur piano player.
Looking back, I can understand why other people would have seen things differently. He was much like a drifter, never settling down. We moved 22 times before my 17th birthday. My sisters and I never got to experience growing up in one location, making long-term friends, or being somewhere long enough to not be seen as the newbie.
Having spent the better part of his young adult life in and out of prison, my daddy was not able to vote, get an education, or have a good paying job. I am pretty sure he also had ADHD because he just couldn’t sit still. He frequently quit jobs or worked under the table because he struggled with work ethic and taking directives.
Daddy vs. Daddy
We never really lived a life like others. Everything was hand-me-downs, second-hand, or homemade, when none of that was socially acceptable. Mom was constantly embarrassed by how we lived, his lack of job consistency, and that we weren’t just broke, we were poor. Lower class citizens was definitely the view others saw when they met our family.
My earthly daddy meant well and his heart was in the right place, even when he would spank us with a Conchos belt. He did the best he knew how to do with the knowledge he had and the upbringing he had.
But God…
Even though I missed my daddy so much and still do, God has never left me. He showed me that I am loved, have never stopped being loved, and will continue to be loved. God gave me the opportunity to witness to my daddy before he passed away. That moment was one that I will never forget, igniting a desire in me to share the gospel with the lost.
My Daddy provides for me, just like daddy did, but in abundance without fail or compromise. He creates beautiful artworks for me to see and through my hands and mouth for others to experience. Our heavenly Father is the one who provided our earthly fathers for us and where they lacked, He will fill in the gaps.
My daddy didn’t always get it right but my memory believes a different story because my Daddy loved me so.
“Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance.” ~Ruth E. Renkel
