In today’s fast-paced world, understanding and addressing the mental health of our children has never been more critical. In the latest episode of our podcast, Pastor Sarah Jane, a seasoned pastor and clinical therapist, delves into the complexities of children’s mental health, offering valuable insights and practical advice for parents and caregivers.

The episode begins with a powerful reminder that children do not inherently possess negative behaviors; these are learned and nurtured over time. Pastor Sarah Jane emphasizes the importance of understanding the unique ways in which each child’s brain functions. She explains that our brains, though similar in structure, have distinct capabilities that vary from person to person. For instance, an autistic individual may have extraordinary abilities, such as recalling exact dates of events, showcasing the incredible diversity in brain function.

One of the key takeaways from this episode is the significance of brain development in children. Pastor Sarah Jane points out that a child’s brain is not fully developed until their mid-twenties, with the frontal lobe, responsible for logic and decision-making, being the last to mature. This explains why young adults often engage in risky behaviors and struggle with understanding consequences. Parents are encouraged to be patient and persistent, knowing that repeated instructions may not always result in immediate behavioral changes due to the ongoing development of their child’s brain.

The episode also sheds light on the chemical aspects of brain function, particularly the roles of cortisol and dopamine. Cortisol, often associated with stress and negative emotions, can have detrimental effects on mental health, while dopamine is linked to positive feelings and well-being. Pastor Sarah Jane discusses how life experiences, especially during middle school, can lead to increased cortisol levels in children, resulting in heightened stress and negative behaviors. Understanding these chemical dynamics can help parents create environments that promote mental well-being and reduce stressors for their children.

In addition to these insights, Pastor Sarah Jane introduces listeners to effective therapeutic approaches such as the Nurtured Heart Approach and Family Functional Therapy. These methods focus on addressing behaviors through positive reinforcement and family dynamics, offering practical tools for parents to implement in their daily interactions with their children.

Throughout the episode, Pastor Sarah Jane’s compassionate and direct approach provides a sense of hope and empowerment for parents facing the challenges of raising children in today’s complex world. She reminds listeners that while we live in a fast-paced, instant-gratification society, it is crucial to adapt our parenting strategies to meet the unique needs of each child.

As you listen to this episode, you will gain a deeper understanding of the intricate workings of your child’s brain, the impact of chemical imbalances, and the importance of tailored parenting approaches. Pastor Sarah Jane’s wealth of knowledge and experience offers a guiding light for parents seeking to create a nurturing and supportive environment for their children’s mental health.

Don’t miss out on this enlightening episode. Tune in now to discover how you can better understand and support your child’s mental well-being, paving the way for a healthier and happier family dynamic.

Scroll down to read the full transcript. Tune in to the podcast on Spotify HERE.

> Pastor Sarah: Hey, listeners, this is Pastor Sarah Jane. I am here to talk to you again for the mental health of kids. This is part two.

I had started, this series a couple of months ago, and then a bunch of things happened in our household that had a lot to do with mental health, which I can talk about in a later series. So I had to put it on pause.

So last time I talked about levels of anxiety and depression, you know, after Covid introverts versus extroverts. And I hope you listen to that podcast. Like I said, it was mental health of kids part one. This is mental health of kids part two. And this time I want to talk about a couple of things that are significant for your children. I have dealt with kid therapy for several years. dysfunctional families was one of my specialties, still is one of my specialties. I have, guardian at litems special masters of the court, child m Youth and Family development agency all hunt me down to deal with dysfunctional families, and they follow me. They have come to my own agency just so that they can have their kiddos with me in my agency. And it’s because I’m a little direct when it comes to how to address the behaviors of children.

Because, in reality, kids don’t come out of the womb smoking cigarettes. They don’t come out of the womb wanting to cut themselves. They don’t come out of the womb, being obsessive compulsive or angry or, you know, abusive. They are all learned behaviors and nurtured behaviors, and their biggest view, of how to, see that is through their parents. And so I get very down and dirty and raw with the parents and utilize something called nurtured heart approach and family functional therapy. So. And please google those things. They’re outstanding. but I want to talk to you about a couple things.

One, our brains work very, specifically per person. God created each one of us unique. And although they’re similar in the way they look and the functions they have, there are very specific things that each person’s brain has the capability of doing.

For instance, somebody who is a high functioning autistic person, a lot of their brain functions at a better rate than somebody without autism. I have, somebody that I have known for years who is a high functioning autistic young adult. And you could tell him your date of birth, and he will tell you what day that fell on. So the first time he asked me, I told him my date of birth, and he said, oh, you were born on a Monday. And then he could say, in 1985, it was a Thursday. And I did not to this day, understand how he does that, but his brain just works that way. He also is able to, I remember or recall the dates of famous people’s births and deaths. And so you could spout off a famous person and he could tell you, oh, they were born in 1976 and they died in 2011 from this. And it’s mind blowing to me.

Well, I say that, to say that that is just one little, small, piece of how different brains operate. But our brains have different, things that function. We have a right hemisphere and a left hemisphere. And one of them is, you know, the artistic side. The other one’s the logical side. One is very, fly by the seat of the pants. The other one is very math science oriented. And so the best way for them to function is to do things that work both the right and left hemisphere together.

Unfortunately for you parents that are listening, your kiddos brain is not fully developed until their mid twenties. For women, it’s around 23 24. For men, it’s around 26/27. This is why you still see 25 year old men jumping off two story buildings into a pool, because they think it’s funny. Also, why you see young adult men driving well under the influence when they really have no business driving after one drink.

There’s not a whole lot of logic there, because the frontal lobe of anybody’s brain isn’t fully developed until the middle of your twenties. And the frontal lobe of your brain is actually the part of your brain that teaches you logic and right and wrong and action and consequence, cause and effect.

And so, you know, if you are trying to get your kids to understand something and you have said it 50 times, know that it doesn’t matter if you say it. 50, 51, 75, 175. Their frontal part of their brain is not fully developed, and it is a good possibility that they’re not going to change their behavior. You can keep talking and it’s going through one ear and out the other, but, the other thing that makes our brains different is our chemical levels.

here are four basic chemicals in the brain. Cortisol is the one that you absolutely don’t want, because it goes right along with anger and aggression and depression, and it can cause major weight gain. It can cause a dysfunction in how your mental health is. And so you want to go against cortisol, which we talked about in physical health with Cara, by pumping dopamine into your system, which is a good chemical brain.

Kids, usually, when they’re raised right, have a whole lot of dopamine because they have a carefree lifestyle and get to have fun. However, when they get to about middle school age and they get influenced by peers and they learn stuff about life that is not positive for them. their cortisol levels increase and they stress out over everything. This is why you hear, kiddos making drastic statements like, I don’t want to be here anymore. My life is so horrible. Nobody loves me. It’s a very Eeyore mentality. It’s unfortunate, but they are heavily influenced by peers that have also experienced something, and they like to spread their information, thinking it’s the next greatest, best thing. this is how the self harming behaviors have become on a rise for middle schoolers.

Every kiddo has their own level of mental health

So, having said all that about the brain, understand that we no longer live in a world that is do it because I said so. My parents used to say because I said so. And guess what? Because they said so, I did it. I didn’t always understand it. I sometimes took risks, risks to see what would happen. But for the most part, when my parents said, do it because I said so, I did it because I didn’t want to get my butt busted.

However, we live in an instant information, instant gratification, very self focused, self motivated, selfish, self centered lifestyle that we, need everything in the moment, and we are entitled to it. And so we don’t respect and listen. And our brains have not learned skills such as common decency, social norms, social cues, how to respect authority, how to respect elders, how to respect people in general just because they’re people. So we hold in our brain this high expectation of our children, and yet our children weren’t raised in the life that we were raised in. They were raised in a life of, I want to do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable, and that’s actually not healthy. So keep that in mind for your kiddos to know that there is something that you need to do different. If you’re trying to reach them, you have to reach them by how their brain takes in information.

For instance, if you have a child that has ADHD, they need, like, actual lists to check off. You can’t just tell your kid, go clean your room. You need to actually step by step explain what that means. I need you to go to your room, pick up every piece of trash and put it in the trash can. That’s step one. I need you to pick up every dirty clothes on the floor and put it in your laundry basket. That’s step two. I need you to take all your clean clothes, fold them, and put them in the drawers they go in. That’s step three and so on and so forth. You can’t just tell a kid who has ADHD to clean their room. They don’t understand that.

So for, each kiddo, every person has mental health. Now, your mental health could be in the negative, where you’re not functioning well. Your mental health could be in the positive, where you are a joy filled person and rational thinking and understanding and forgiving.

However, it’s still mental health. It’s just in the positive aspect.

So for every kiddo, each one has their own level of mental health. You have to try to address behaviors in whatever way their brain functions so that their mental health stays stable. It’s when you address things, outside of how their brain functions that they become unstable and they become behavioral, and then you have a bigger problem on your hands.

I hope that helps when it comes to thinking about how kids are able to decreased mental health issues and join me next week as I talk about some more mental health, concerns with kiddos. God bless you. Remember that you are seen and loved.

 

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