“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24
This verse defines some of the biggest problems in marriage but God spoke of it to promote the “oneness” of marriage. Aside from a person’s personal relationship with the Lord, if these guidelines are not followed a married couple is sure to have difficulties.
When a man and woman say “I Do” they promise a covenant with God to love, protect and respect the other person; amongst other things. I once heard someone say that a parent’s job is to train their child up to be married, in other words to live independently (leaving) from their parents.
Once your child has moved out or you have walked them down the isle, move on.
That was a little harsh but the truth is your children will survive. When your kids “leave” you to be with another your advice should only be given when solicited. When you give it, without being requested, it causes marital problems between your child and their spouse.
The same goes for the adult children.
Issues in a marriage should be discussed with your spouse. Nothing should be brought up to your parents without the permission of your spouse. Discussing your marriage with relatives causes too many marital problems.
Cleaving is defined (dictionary.com) as sticking to, adhere closely and to remain faithful. When you get married your spouse is only second in your life to God. For some reason that is extremely difficult for people to relate to. Many couples see their spouse as fourth or even fifth on their list of priorities. Kids, work, sports, hobbies, and anything other than spouses tends to be at the front of their list.
But God did not create marriage that way, His intent was unity.
It reminds me of the movie “Fireproof.” One of the firefighters uses salt and pepper shakers being super-glued together, as an illustration. The firefighter explains that if you were to try and separate they would need to be broken. Once broken they would never return to their original form. The damage a divorce does to a family is similar.
The last point God instructs of married couples is to weave or become one flesh. Two people becoming one is not something that happens overnight, it takes a lifetime to accomplish. There is a lot of bending, compromising and sharing that needs to happen from both people. It starts with being willing to let go of your past, starting fresh with another. That’s not to say that your past is not important but it is no longer more important than your spouse, i.e. other relationships. Amongst other things, it also consists of agreeing on how to raise children, which can be difficult if you both were raised in different style homes.
All this to say, nearly 19 years ago on June 27th I married my lovebug. I am excited to have been blessed with the task of leaving, cleaving and weaving for Him. Like most marriages, we have had our struggles, walked through our valleys and nearly drowned in a storm but every situation brings me to my knees when I thank God for “bringing the rain” because it only makes me stronger in Him and a more devoted wife.
Mastered “leaving”……Excelling in “cleaving”…….Proficient in “weaving”…….what’s your status?