“You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, take care that you are not carried away with the error of lawless people and lose your own stability.” 2 Peter 3:17

It is no secret to people who knew me growing up, that I was less than perfect; many can go as far as saying I was a nightmare at times, especially my parents.  I spent a great deal of time going against the grain, in a bad sort of way, wanting to shock those around me with how okay I was at doing the “bad” thing.  I was tattooed, pierced, drank, smoked cigarettes, attempted to try drugs, cussed, had premarital sex….really the list could go on and on.  (Side note:  I am not saying everything I did was bad, such as having a drink, but how I did it definitely was, that is a story for another time.)  For those of you who didn’t know me prior to renewing my faith, I am genuinely sorry if this upsets you.

My desire back then was to stick it to the man, anyone that rubbed me the wrong way or just for the sake of ticking someone off.  I didn’t care how my behavior effected anyone else.  I was tired of getting pushed around, talked about behind my back, looked down on or treated poorly so I decided to be the one doing the pushing.  However, nothing I did, from my point of view was that bad.  At the time I don’t think I even thought anything was wrong with the way I was behaving.  I was wrong.

I do not believe a person should be holier-than-though and I am not saying this to sound that way but as a mother of five children I would be utterly mortified if my kids behaved, dressed or spoke the way that I did back then.  Thinking of who I was truly disgusts me because I cannot fathom how I had such little respect for my own body, for God’s “vessel” or even for the people who were subjected to my actions.

This past weekend my husband and I went on a weekend getaway, without our kids, which has not happened in the fourteen years that we have been together.  We went to “Sin City” Las Vegas, Nevada.  We had such an amazing time, spending quality time with each other sharing four days of us time.  There really is no way to describe how fantastic it was, it was like a lifetime of date nights wrapped up into one weekend.  Although we did not partake in the “Sin” part of the city, we did witness it firsthand smack dab in our faces.

We spent most of the weekend off doing things but one of the afternoons we walked the strip and it just broke my heart.  Pretty much everything I did to myself as a teen and young adult was displayed in front of thousands of people, via the residents of the strip.  Those that were involved in the happenings were behaving as though it was no big deal “an everyday way of life.”  All I wanted to do was hug them and tell them there is so much better for them in life.  In no way am I wanting to sound judgmental but I don’t understand how they do not see worth in themselves, I do not see how I did not see worth in myself.

Yes it is called “Sin City” because sin is everywhere but it is everywhere all over the world, why should Vegas specifically be labeled as such?  Being there, walking through the people turning a blind eye to the hurting….believe me, from experience, they are hurting even if they act as though they are okay with what they are doing….made me think of it as the “Lost City.”

So these people or that city may think it is okay to be of the world, openly loving sin, but I am just in this world temporarily and feel sick when I see sin but only because I want everyone to join me WHERE I am going and the only way to do that is to no longer be of this world.